With jellybeans, if you please

There's no substitute for a snazzy hat and freshly-shaved buttocks. There are forces that would like you to believe that you should say it with flowers, but if you're serious about making your point, there's really only ever been one option open to you. Zip open that hat box and foam up the buns, because the longer you wait, the longer it'll take for your friends and clergy to get the message. Once that's settled, you can continue your march across the map of Europe, or just across the bathroom rug! You're in the driver's seat this time, so conquer as much or as little as you like. With a clear finish-line staked out in your head, it's only a matter of pitter-pat until you press your chest against that tape and bring down showers of confetti, flowers and loose ass all around your face and shoulders. Shit yeah. If wild tigers are not a factor in this metaphor, there is no stopping you.