Caught in the act

There were many great things about Stew, probably ten or fifteen if you had to write them all down. I do remember that he would get this magazine in the mail every week, so he'd sit in his underwear and read it from cover to cover as soon as it arrived. Even if he was already dressed, he'd pull off his trousers and make a point of sitting down with his feet up until he'd read the whole thing. If you wanted to talk to him during that hour, forget it. A couple of times, I noticed that he'd pulled his nuts out through the pee-hole in his undies, so they dangled out while he thumbed through the magazine. I'm not sure if he always did that, but I think it's something he insisted on doing as time went on, just to make it feel more like a ritual. This also stopped most people from bothering him while reading, since it's tough to get around a pair of nuts unless you've got a really good excuse. If the house is on fire, it's OK to disturb the nuts, but for something like a phone call, it can wait. Come to think on it, most phone calls can wait, nuts or not.

How it gets from house to house

Unfortunate as it sounds, this rash you've been staring at (which is not polite, FYI) is going to be showing up on your chin by nightfall. It will then spread down our neck and into your pits. I'll apologize to you when God apologizes to Judas (so, later.)