Tidy is a mountain you don't climb

Do not execute a full-fledged jig while Sandy is still in the room. Make sure to return the chocolate wrapper to its proper spot in the box when you're done rubbing it between your toes. Never lunge toward a woman's face if her left eye is squinted shut and her arms below the elbow are hanging akimbo. It's imperative to grab the nearest old person's belly and shake that beast for all it's worth in the event of an oncoming herd of horny kindergarteners. In no case is it appropriate to summon the Dark Lord with a demon totem that resembles Mary Lou Retton. Always insist on keeping your hands and feet uncovered when facing down a film-school asshole's mother in single combat. Refuse any offer of financial compensation that would lead to accepting a hickey on your left one. Push strongly for better representation in the local government for smegma, children who are stupid but love cupcakes, and Very Handsome Men. When all these edicts have been followed, return to me for your salvation.