Jan and the can of spread

It is impolite to publicly take pleasure in the misery of old people. Having said so, it's a great comfort to those who have to deal with old people that they sometimes lose control and involuntarily shit themselves. The elderly are often frail and and are hence mistaken for a race of pitiable and humble beings, worthy of the deference and disproportionate indulgence usually reserved for very small children who don't know anything yet. But old people know lots of things, and some of them have lived long lives characterized by cruelty, disaffection, and selfishness. It was in preparation for their autumn years that the Good Lord invented IBS (Incontinent Bowel Syndrome) and similar ailments which have no Heavenly purpose but to force old bodies to disobey their evil minds and fill up the pants with a quart or two of Divine Retribution. For this miracle, and in the purest sense it is a miracle, it becomes unnecessary for younger people to ever kick old people, as long as we recognize that the matter of settling the karmic account has already been taken care of. Some may question the validity of this miracle, since there is a large class of people who enjoy sitting in their own waste, which would negate the justice of the miracle's impact. On the contrary, punishing aged scat-freaks in any way would be totally unnecessary, since they are always beautifully sweet young people, and beautifully sweet old people. The miracle, for them, becomes a blessing, and the beat goes on. If you do know any pleasant old people, it's almost certain that they are scat-freaks. God has blessed them, every one.