Greasing it up

Due to a lack of interest, Module 5.1 (scheduled for Thurs. 10 a.m., Mohican Room) has been cancelled in favor of a more "hands-on" opportunity, which will be an old-style Gypsy beat-down in the north parking lot (registered attendees only.) The Council has agreed that this will preserve the spirit of the original workshop, while providing more time to do some networking and get laid. Vegetarians are encouraged to re-register for their red badges (aka "Get Out of Meat Free!" buttons) so that they can continue to associate with real people during future social functions. All those bearing blue and/or other out-of-date badges will suffer twenty-five minutes of naked humiliation at the hands of guest-presenter Barbara Billingsley, so consider this fair warning. Following the enthusiastic response so far, the sign-up list for goat shenanigans has been re-opened to allow those who have been through the experience to re-live it nine or ten more times. If you do intend to remove someone else's name from the list and insert your own (or a friend's,) be sure to erase the original name completely, hence releasing the staff from adjourning a mock proceeding to "get to the bottom" of anything. Obviously, we're a little busy up here, and have little concern for your nonsense.