Looking ahead, we have made every attempt to keep our traditions and high standards in mind, though we have been challenged more severely in these last few months than ever before. While noting areas in which we strive to improve, it is important to emphasize that there are a lot of things we've done right, and that several of us can take pride in making some prudent decisions at the many points when it would have been easier to stop the boat and throw the bastards overboard. Having said so, the following directives will take effect immediately and will remain in force during daylight hours:
- Seriously, no more with the goats. Apart from the obvious, the laundry staff are finding this increasingly tedious, and we do live in a world in which webcams are pervasive. Once is funny, twice is a smile, three times is a spanking.
- "Shuffling the cards" is no longer to be used as a euphemism in the presence of minors. This also applies to related hand-gestures.
- All females below the rank of Princess are to be dressed in obviously feminine attire. Further episodes of confusion, followed by disappointment, then anger, must be kept to a minimum. A good rule of thumb: Anyone hiding behind a curtain should easily be able to hear and/or see a skirt rustling past before they jump out and make the mistake of their week.
- Pulling the covers over anyone's head will cost you fifteen dollars. No exceptions.
- Members of the orthodox rite will remain in clearly marked areas. This will keep everyone honest.
- No pizza on the antlers. No pizza on the antlers. No pizza on the antlers.
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